I need to get a government job

Seriously.

After watching this entire debacle, which JB Van Hollen is facing right now, I realize that I need to get a government job.

There is just absolutely no way possible to ever lose that job. Once you have the job, apparently it is yours for life.

For example-

Complaining about your boss behind his back is perfectly acceptable.

Complaining about your boss and emailing your co-workers is also perfectly acceptable.

Undermining your boss is perfectly acceptable.

Hiding information from your boss is perfectly acceptable.

Encouraging your co-workers to hide information from your boss is perfectly acceptable.

Threatening your boss with physical harm is perfectly acceptable.

Threatening your co-workers with physical harm is perfectly acceptable.

Oh, we must not forget that if for some reason, you do not make it though your two-year probation and are sent back to your other perfectly good government job, you must go running to the media to do whatever you can to embarrass and undermine your boss. After all, a government probationary job means that you are entitled to that job for life also.

Note to self: Get a government job and you will be set for life.

Does anyone know where I can pick up an application?